FADE IN: The band is stuck working at some large unnamed insurance company that rhymes with 'Bafeco'.
Neal: What's this?
Trainer: manuals.
Neal: what the fuck am I supposed to do with….Jesus, there's 10 of them!
Trainer: Read them. It'll only take you about a month, then you can really start working. It's a crash course in insurance. About 3 books in, we'll teach you some workflow.
Neal: *sob*
Jon: This'll be great! It's a written in layman's terms….except for the dwelling fire one.
Trainer: No one understands that one. It's okay, you'll fail it at least once.
Neal: What'd you mean, 'fail'??
Trainer: You gotta take a test for each one. If you fail one more than once, your ass is outta here.
Neal: *sob*
Jon: It's okay, Neal – it's open book.
Neal: But each book is like…500 pages…OH GOD HELP ME!
**2 weeks later**
Neal: What's this?
Trainer: Home RQ's.
Neal: What the fuck is a home RQ??
Trainer: [evil, jaded laughter] The insureds fill them out, to make certain we have the correct replacement cost info on their home. SO if it burns down, and it's insured-to-value…
Neal: You people and your evil insurance-speak!! *sob*
Jon: How many of these do we get a day?
Trainer: about 1000, or 1500.
Neal: It takes me about…15 minutes to do one…when the system doesn't crash...
Trainer: Better get busy, then.
Jon: *sob*
Neal: Don't you start cryin' damn you. The job description said data entry!!
Trainer: This is data. Enter it.
Neal: But…but…they say it's a bilevel on the RQ and the prior is a one story with a basement, and you can't have a basement in a bilevel home…so…what do I do?
Trainer: Make a judgment call.
Neal: Only one thing is right, though.
Trainer: Sometimes. Read your notes.
Neal: Huh? I don't get it! You assholes, the notes only cover some situations….
Trainer: Neal, you're kind of hostile. This will have to go on your record, and in your next PR. Also, I've scheduled you for an anti-stress seminar and suggest you go to the next diversity training class.
Neal: *sob*
Jon: I wanna go home…
Trainer: Not until you've fulfilled your 7.75 hours today…and fulfilled your 6.5 hours of required productivity on your tracking program.
Jon: WHAT?
Trainer: Tomorrow you're scheduled to learn easy-hard handrates, which is an accounting function.
Jon: HOLY GOD! Those are the billing screens???
Trainer: Yeah, they read top to bottom except where it breaks up into days, where it reads another way. Here's a list of acronyms you'll need to memorize.
Neal: What're NADS?
Trainer: National Agency Division.
Neal: Yeah RIGHT. [laughter] NADS!
Jon: I quit.
Neal: Dude, not in THIS economy.
Jon: I'm going back to Jack In The Box.
Neal: You're not gonna hit me with the tongs again, are you?
Jon: I thought you kind of liked it.
Neal: ::thinks:: Ok, I did. Let's go.
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