The Official Candles Drinking Game
Includes the short tales, too. Under 21, get yourself to Canada, or substitute Kool Aid. Haven't read the Candles series? Probably not funny. Sorry.

Every time Steve Perry is killed, chug a beer.

Every time someone brings him back, do a body shot off your significant other.

Every time Jon has a hissyfit about something, sip.

Every time Neal gropes anybody, suck beer through the biggest straw you can find.

Every time Steve and Neal fight, sip.

Every time Jon hits Steve, chug.

Every time somebody from another dimension threatens Steve, sip.

Every time Aug makes a suggestive comment at Steve, chug while shouting "That's right, bad boy!"

Every time someone tries to kill Steve and fails, take a shot.

Every time Deen says 'Dude', dump a beer on yourself and then crush the empty on your forehead.

Every time ravens show up and none of them are Steve, give one of your pets a beer.

Every time someone makes fun of Aug's red pants, eat a cherry fruit roll-up. With a beer.

Every time Smitty sets something on fire, pop an Habanero pepper and then chug beer until the pain stops and you can see again.

Every time Steve tries to sacrifice himself, drink a Bloody Mary.

Every time Jon cries, dip your thumb in the nearest alcohol and then suck it.

Every time Barb takes a fucking year to write a chapter, wake yourself and chug a keg.

Every time a band member references an inside joke that only a diehard fan would understand, sip.

Every time Barb plays fast and loose with actual band history, get yourself to AA.

Every time Steve plays fast and loose with Neal in a cave, lick Bailey's off the nearest surface.

Every time Ross makes a smartass comment about Neal and Steve, blow beer out your nose.

Every time someone starts discussing theoretical physics, bang your head on the nearest wall and sip a dry martini.

Every time Steve kills a Keeper, take a shot.

Every time someone hears any one else's thoughts, have a Mai Tai. Proceed to the emergency room.